Evelyn Robinson

From Rick Boas:

Hee Jung and I have had the pleasure of "meeting" Evelyn Robinson via email.

Born and raised in Scotland, she gave up her son for adoption in 1970. She moved to Australia in 1982, and reunited with her son when he was 21 years old. Evelyn has been involved with post-adoption support services in Australia as a social worker and educator since 1989, and currently provides training for professionals through the government-funded Post Adoption Support Service (PASS). She has written and published four books about adoption. Her most recent, Adoption Separation - Then and now, will be available in early 2011.

In Evelyn’s first book, Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief, she proposed that the grief associated with adoption loss is disenfranchised. This approach is now widely accepted in the adoption community.

Evelyn frequently trains and lectures on adoption separation around the globe, and has presented with her son. She has never charged a fee for these engagements. More information about Evelyn and her work is available from www.clovapublications.com.


Evelyn kindly forwarded the full text of the apology to birthmothers and their children by the Parliament of Western Australia (in October), and accompanying articles--all of which are riveting--via the Australian Journal of Adoption:

http://www.nla.gov.au/openpublish/index.php/aja



What really moved me was the following, beautifully written--and not requested by me! Thank you Evelyn!:

I was contacted recently by the Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network. Please visit their web site at http://www.kumsn.org/main/?mid=kumsn_aboutus_mission. I hope that you'll read the inspiring story of how the network was founded by an adoptive father.

Expectant mothers in Korea who are unmarried and not supported by their families or the fathers of their children are being pressured into agreeing for their children to be adopted. Their situation is very similar to the situation in countries like Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Ireland, Canada and the US in the middle to late twentieth century. This is causing heartbreaking and unnecessary family separations.

More than 200,000 Korean children have already been adopted out to other countries in the last forty years or so and some have also been lost to domestic adoption in that period. This means that there are several hundred thousand mothers in Korea who are mourning the loss of their children, as well as fathers, grandparents, siblings and other family members.

Groups such as KUMSN are trying to change the social and financial climate to allow unmarried mothers to raise their children.

Anything we can do to help them would be much appreciated. They are not asking for financial support, but it would be great for them to know that people around the world are concerned about this situation.

If you feel inclined, you can follow them on Facebook, you can contribute to their newsletter or you can contact them via their web site and offer messages of encouragement and support.

Also, in my opinion, every country which accepts children from Korea for adoption is supporting these painful and unnecessary family breakdowns and so you may want to make your feelings known to politicians and policy-makers in your own country and ask them to consider the plight of unmarried mothers in Korea and refuse to support the removal of their children.

I am sure that change will come in Korea and anything that we can do to make that happen sooner rather than later will mean that we are contributing to the establishment of social justice for families in Korea.

Many thanks for considering this.

Please feel free to distribute this information.

Evelyn

KWDI Study on Moms Published

As a "respectful outsider," I see my role as one of raising the visibility of the issue of unwed Korean pregnant women, mothers and their children, supporting efforts by Koreans (including academics, the media, government, service providers, and the moms themselves) to make better lives for them, and catalyzing change.

It is has been particularly satisfying to work with our friends at Korean Womens Development Institute, whose studies on the issue are already having an impact. KWDI just released their eagerly-awaited and much-needed study How to Improve Government Welfare Services for Low-Income Unwed Mothers in Korea, by Drs. Lee Mijeong and Kim Hyeyoung and their colleagues. Though the situation of unwed Korean moms is getting increased attention, and moms are receiving some increased support, prejudice and discrimination against them are still commonplace. Moms--especially the older moms--are not receiving the support they need.

The study discusses the moms' situation, needs, difficulties they experience, what support is available (and what the moms report they receive), and makes policy recommendations. Here are some significant (and timely) points:

1. Moms age 24 and under receive the most benefits, yet over 77% of unwed moms are 25 and older. Support needs to be based on the child's age, not the mother's.
2. Many moms don't know what benefits are available. Moms report that local welfare office employees are underinformed re: benefits, and are rude to them.
3. Though there are laws which grant maternity leave and prohibit discrimination at work, these are not enforced.
4. Unwed fathers need to be held responsible for their children; mothers need to be able to bring action without fear of reprisal.
5. Childcare allowance is insufficient.
6. A comprehensive database and statistics on unwed moms are needed.

KUMSN is proud to have underwritten this study, and we hope that this scholarly study from a highly respected Korean research institute will help change attitudes, catalyze change, and bring about policies that will benefit the moms and their children, so that they become true equals in Korean society.

Richard Boas, MD
Founder and President, KUMSN

Dr. Boas' reflections on the August 2010 trip

What made this trip, my 9th, particularly rewarding, is that the issue of unwed moms and their children has become quite visible, and very much on the "radar screen." Forums such as the ones in Jeju and Gyeonggido--with active participation at both by unwed moms themselves--and government officials in attendance, were a wonderful demonstration of the active interest in the moms' situation, and ways of addressing it. I was so glad to hear the matter discussed at the recent IKAA Conference, which also included a joint presentation between an unwed mom and adoptee about their joint business venture--so that adoptees themselves are now more aware, and in a position themselves to address the issue.

The moms themselves are increasingly coming forward. I long ago lost count of the number of media interviews they have granted. May their numbers, voices and impact increase, in the cause of a socially just and truly democratic Korea. A recent "first," which we were so pleased to be an audience to, was a joint meeting between the newly-formed unwed moms' organization, Miss Mammamia, and Hanbumo Association. They have much common ground.

Not only is the matter of assistance for unwed moms very much an issue, the type of assistance is being increasingly discussed. Our belief--and that of the moms--is that these single-parent families are best supported in the community. Not only is this more cost-effective, it keeps moms and their children in the community, where they belong, and helps to decrease the stigma against them.

A group that I want to see become more involved is the Korean philanthropic community--corporations, foundations and individuals. Existing NGO's working for the moms, as well as a new one, formed by the moms themselves, need assistance. I am so heartened by the great interest shown by Korea Foundation for Women. This need is real, Korea itself is responsible for--and capable of--addressing the issue.

It was a pleasure and privilege to meet and speak with Professor David Smolin, a US legal scholar, now very much aware of problems of Korean adoption and Korean unwed moms. I welcome his continued interest in and help.

Since I began my work on behalf of Korean unwed moms, I have been saddened by the belief among Koreans that the mother alone is blamed for her pregnancy, and saddled with the responsibility for child-rearing and financial support of herself and her child. So many have been pressured--by families and by fathers-to-be--to get an abortion (96% among pregnancies of unwed women in Korea) or to give up her child to adoption, lest the reputation of the father or either family be ruined. This is unfair, unjust and discriminatory. Unwed fathers' responsibility is becoming increasingly discussed in Korea, and taken seriously, an important step. Koreans we spoke with "got it" when I quoted a US academic article which states that when men are held responsible for the children they father, birthrates go down.

We are delighted to assist Salvation Army/Duri Home in setting up a new Thrift Store/Coffee Shop in Seoul. Not only do we hope this will become a viable business (as existing stores are), but provide employment and valuable business experience for unwed moms. It was exciting to hear from the moms who will be working there. I look forward to my white chocolate mocha at the new store.

A big "thank you" to KUMSN staff for everything you do on behalf of social justice and progress for the moms and their children. I remain confident that Korea will solve this issue, and am proud we are playing a part.

Last whirlwind days

The last two days of the trip were a whirlwind and now we are home. We talked with journalists (see the Korean Unwed Mothers Support Network on Facebook for links to potential resulting articles), legislators, researchers and service providers. We visited the Hambumo Center for single and unwed parents located in one of the Seoul Healthy Family Centers and learned about their work and shared ideas about working with moms and their children.

One of the remarkable aspects of our conversations in the last few days and really all week, was the discussion of unwed fathers. When we started this work, the entire focus was on the moms. If we mentioned fathers, everyone said sure they exist, but no one will focus on their responsibility. Here we are just a couple of years later and many times this week, in many different settings, people wanted to talk about the responsibilities of unwed fathers, the fathers of unwed mother’s children. There are a number of efforts under way to submit legislation that would require fathers to pay child support. It is clear that the invisibility of unwed fathers is not going to last much longer.

Looking back on the trip, we have a sense of accomplishment. In the last year the government has increased funding for younger unwed mothers. The number of newspaper articles and television reports on the moms has increased dramatically. The national government and some provincial governments are funding programs and research on unwed moms and their children. One of three panels at the IKAA adoption research symposium was devoted to mothers who relinquish and those who don’t. We participated in two strong forums addressing the needs of unwed moms outside of Seoul, in Jeju and Gyeonggi-do. And we hosted the first meeting between unwed mothers and single mothers associations. We met with Professor Smolin and heard his talk at the IKAA symposium. And there was so much more. Wow!

We are celebrating how quickly things change in Korea and how strong the unwed moms are becoming. Their voice is getting every stronger and they speaking out in more forums then every before. At the same time, we are sobered by their suffering and the continued prejudice and discrimination they experience. While the government has increased some kinds of funding for younger moms, most moms continue to struggle with housing and financial needs. There is much more to be done.

Gyeonggido Family and Women’s Research Institute Forum

Wednesday, August 4, found us in Gyeonggido participating in a forum addressing the needs of unwed mothers in their province. This was the first forum to address these issues in this province. Gyeonggido is the most populous province, as it is the area around Seoul, and is considered a microcosm of the country, containing cities, towns and farms, and of course mountains. The forum was attended by legislators from local councils, researchers, service providers, and unwed moms themselves. The turn out was much higher then they expected, over 50 people.

Dr. Boas gave an opening talk and Ellen Furnari delivered a talk written by Dr. Cheryl Mitchell, sharing information about services for families in the US, mostly based on economic need rather than marriage status. The highlight though was the research presented. This research is the first in the province on unwed mothers. They chose to focus on mothers in the community. They sent a questionnaire to over 700 mothers and approximately 40% were returned.

While the research has not been completed yet, and there is more analysis to be done, they shared some important findings. They estimated that between 400 to 600 children are born each year to unwed moms. Thus they estimate there are at least 2000 unwed moms in their province, and they believe the number is rising rapidly. The average age of the mothers in the survey was 30 and 51% had completed high school. About 10% are still connected with their babies father, while 49% reported no contact at all with the father. Interestingly 21% said they wanted vocational training but only 8% were aware of vocational training opportunities in the province. Most of the moms live in apartments paying monthly rent and many of the apartments are in basements. Perhaps related to this 42% of the moms reported themselves as in bad health with 12% of the children also in bad health. The average of the their children is 4.5 with 66% of the children 6 or younger ( Korean age starts at 1 when a child is born, so in American terms 66% of the children are 5 or younger). The moms reported that receiving financial support for their living expenses was the number one issue for them, with the need for housing support being a close second. As soon as we can KUMSN will post a copy of the research results as it provides important guidance for policy makers.

After the presentations there was a very lively question and answer session where a number of unwed moms spoke about their own experiences being treated rudely by social workers, needing financial support, the challenges of being discriminated against in finding work and other aspects of their struggle. One of the moms asked why the shelters for unwed moms do not hire unwed moms themselves. The session closed with a clear commitment from Gyeonggido leaders to work for an increased budget to support the moms and in particular to create more publicly supported housing, job training, more child care options and financial support. Better training for government social workers was also highlighted as an important element in treating moms with respect.

Over all it was a very satisfying forum and we left with high hopes about changes to come in the next year.

Research Symposium of the International Korean Adoptees Associations - IKAA

Today we spent the whole day at IKAA'a research symposium. This was the first day of IKAA's gathering in Seoul. Of particular interest was the first panel that addressed the situation and concerns of unwed moms. Research was presented about the history of discrimination against women in Korea and the changes over the years to recognize women’s equality in Korean law. However it was pointed out that while laws can change, it is much harder to change social practices and there remains a big gap in the salaries between men and women, and in their roles in society.

Han Boon Young and Yang Min-Ok presented their research on the counseling received by pregnant unwed moms in facilities. For the moms who stayed in facilities run by adoption agencies, the research found that these moms received counseling that urged them to relinquish their children, for their own sakes and for the baby to have a better life. They also reported stories of agencies adopting out babies without proper consent or within a shorter time frame then was promised. These moms had to fight to get their children back. Overall it was a sobering look at current practices and certainly highlights the conflict of interest between the adoption side of an agency and the side that serves pregnant women.

Given our interest in unwed moms, the highlight for us of the afternoon sessions was a presentation by Professor Smolin, whom we had met earlier in the week. He gave a good overview of the current situation in international adoptions world -wide. His focus is on unethical adoptions, for the purpose of improving the systems so that all international adoptions, and really ALL adoptions are conducted within the parameters of international conventions and laws. He discussed the ways that children are ‘laundered” after being acquired by force, financially or via fraud. In some cases children are kidnapped, in some cases families are offered what seems to them like large sums of money at a time when they are very poor and struggling to feed themselves, and sometimes families are told their children will be in school or it will be just a temporary separation to help them out. These children are then given papers with some other story which presents them as orphans, and adopted to other countries. He discussed what he is beginning to understand about the Korean system, in terms of the tremendous pressure put on women to either have an abortion or relinquish their children, and the closed system of domestic adoption. He ended with a call for Korean adoptees to work to expose the unethical and possibly illegal practices of Korean adoption agencies, both in Korea and in their home countries, in particular with the adoption agencies in their home countries.

Overall, we learned a great deal about not only the areas of concern to us, but also about issues related to language, the struggle of adoptees who now live in Korea after growing up elsewhere, and aspects of artistic expressions that reflect the challenged identities and emerging reflections of adoptees who grew up in other countries, in primarily white families and cultures.

Talking about adoption and unwed moms

Yesterday we had our jet propulsion packs on. The morning started with a great meeting with Professor David Smolin. Professor Smolin is an expert on ethical adoptions. He has been in S. Korea teaching a short course and will speak at the IKAA research forum today (Tuesday, 8/2). We had a lively exchange about the situation for unwed moms in S. Korea, how that relates to adoption practices, the Hague Convention and other related topics. As the large majority of babies adopted from S. Korea abroad are the children of unwed moms, we discussed the stories we have been told about women being pressured to relinquish their children in facilities run by adoption agencies and the heartbreaking stories of moms who had to fight to get their babies returned when they changed their minds just days after relinquishment.

Later in the day we spent time at the Duri Home unwed mothers facility. They also have a group home for moms and their babies. Women can enter the group home with children under 24 months and can stay for up to 3 years. This provides crucial help during an important transition period. However, there is only room for 8 moms and their babies in the group home. There are a number of such group homes around the country, but not enough for all the moms. Many moms live with friends and family when they can’t afford a place of their own. Precarious living situations add stress to moms' lives and thus to their babies early years as well.

After visiting the group home we returned to Duri Home for a great home-cooked meal with the moms in residence. Duri Home is a program of the Salvation Army in S. Korea. They plan to open a resale store soon, similar to ones in the US, with support from KUMSN and the Korea Foundation for Women. The store will sell used and donated new clothes and have a coffee shop. It will provide a place for a number of the moms to get work experience as well as a place to sell their craft and art work. We were able to hear from the mothers who will be in charge of the various new ventures. They are extremely committed to making the store a success. This is an exciting and much needed program. Duri home expects that with the help of some start up funds, the store can become self-sustaining within one year.

After twelve hours of stimulating conversation and encouraging site visits, it was time to go home and get some rest. Today we are off to the IKAA (International Korean Adoptees Associations) research conference.