Dr. Boas' reflections on the August 2010 trip

What made this trip, my 9th, particularly rewarding, is that the issue of unwed moms and their children has become quite visible, and very much on the "radar screen." Forums such as the ones in Jeju and Gyeonggido--with active participation at both by unwed moms themselves--and government officials in attendance, were a wonderful demonstration of the active interest in the moms' situation, and ways of addressing it. I was so glad to hear the matter discussed at the recent IKAA Conference, which also included a joint presentation between an unwed mom and adoptee about their joint business venture--so that adoptees themselves are now more aware, and in a position themselves to address the issue.

The moms themselves are increasingly coming forward. I long ago lost count of the number of media interviews they have granted. May their numbers, voices and impact increase, in the cause of a socially just and truly democratic Korea. A recent "first," which we were so pleased to be an audience to, was a joint meeting between the newly-formed unwed moms' organization, Miss Mammamia, and Hanbumo Association. They have much common ground.

Not only is the matter of assistance for unwed moms very much an issue, the type of assistance is being increasingly discussed. Our belief--and that of the moms--is that these single-parent families are best supported in the community. Not only is this more cost-effective, it keeps moms and their children in the community, where they belong, and helps to decrease the stigma against them.

A group that I want to see become more involved is the Korean philanthropic community--corporations, foundations and individuals. Existing NGO's working for the moms, as well as a new one, formed by the moms themselves, need assistance. I am so heartened by the great interest shown by Korea Foundation for Women. This need is real, Korea itself is responsible for--and capable of--addressing the issue.

It was a pleasure and privilege to meet and speak with Professor David Smolin, a US legal scholar, now very much aware of problems of Korean adoption and Korean unwed moms. I welcome his continued interest in and help.

Since I began my work on behalf of Korean unwed moms, I have been saddened by the belief among Koreans that the mother alone is blamed for her pregnancy, and saddled with the responsibility for child-rearing and financial support of herself and her child. So many have been pressured--by families and by fathers-to-be--to get an abortion (96% among pregnancies of unwed women in Korea) or to give up her child to adoption, lest the reputation of the father or either family be ruined. This is unfair, unjust and discriminatory. Unwed fathers' responsibility is becoming increasingly discussed in Korea, and taken seriously, an important step. Koreans we spoke with "got it" when I quoted a US academic article which states that when men are held responsible for the children they father, birthrates go down.

We are delighted to assist Salvation Army/Duri Home in setting up a new Thrift Store/Coffee Shop in Seoul. Not only do we hope this will become a viable business (as existing stores are), but provide employment and valuable business experience for unwed moms. It was exciting to hear from the moms who will be working there. I look forward to my white chocolate mocha at the new store.

A big "thank you" to KUMSN staff for everything you do on behalf of social justice and progress for the moms and their children. I remain confident that Korea will solve this issue, and am proud we are playing a part.

A Sunday in Seoul with unwed moms, single moms and KUMSN volunteers

We began the day with a lovely brunch for the KUMSN volunteers. Several of the volunteers tutor moms in English. One volunteer does art therapy with the mothers and with their children. Several volunteers help with translation and proof reading. It was very inspiring to hear how committed and thoughtful they are about wanting to help create change. The sincerity of the moms is an inspiration to all of us, including our excellent volunteers.

In the afternoon we had a ceremony with the Korean Foundation for Women to formally acknowledge the work KUMSN is doing with the Foundation. Dr. Cho is the President of the foundation and a thoughtful woman who is very supportive to the unwed moms and the work of KUMSN. After the more formal presentations, two groups shared their current work and plans for the rest of the year. The Miss Mama Mia group of unwed moms is transitioning into a more formal organization, the Korean Unwed Mothers Families Association (KUMFA). They are hard at work on many projects, including:

1. Providing counseling via email and phone and occasionally in person, to moms who are faced with difficulties regarding the choice to raise their children, or other child-raising issues.

2. Building the membership and involvement of new unwed moms.

3. Outreach to women in unwed mother facilities.

4. Working with journalists to help bring their stories to the wider society.

5. Working to make the government services currently available work better for moms and to increase the support the government provides for moms.

The Hanbumo (which means "single parent" in Korean) Association also shared their current work. The Hanbumo Association is a coalition of single mothers' organizations. Single mothers were married when they had children, but are now divorced or widowed. Korea had a huge increase in divorce in the late 1990s after the economic collapse and this high rate has continued. It has created huge social issues, since divorce used to be very uncommon. Like the unwed moms, the Hanbumo Assocation provides outreach and counseling to single mothers. They have ongoing street campaigns where they engage in street theater and hand out information to pedestrians about single mothers' issues. They are engaged in training and study to improve their own understanding of Korean society, to strengthen their own self-confidence, and to become better counselors. In addition they are working to improve their own internal structures and organization. They are all about empowering single mothers to make certain that government policy, laws, and social programs in Korea better serve all single parents.

After the initial presentations, there was a long and lively discussion during which both organizations shared experiences and developed ways they can support each other. As this was the first joint meeting, there was a lot to learn from each other about the work to improve the lives for all families, for all mothers and children. It was very exciting to listen to the exchange and imagine how they will work together.

We finished the day with a fantastic Korean meal with many of the participants. Among the delights was watching the little children run around so happily. It is painful to realize that without each others support and caring, these mother-child bonds might have been broken. It is such an honor and joy to be part of their support system.